Friday, September 23, 2011

Bunch of nonsense

I may be jinxing myself here, but I think that things have finally evened out.  I think that I have finally evened out on the hormones, which probably explains the rash going away finally, and everything that I wrote about a couple weeks ago with the rash, itching, cold, pink eye (which turned out not to be pink eye thank goodness) has finally worked itself out.  KNOCK ON WOOD!!!  LOL.   I have jinxed myself enough times to know that I am a magnet for the universe proving me wrong when I don't use that phrase LOL.

Things have been good.  We are starting to find a groove here.  I will be doing an official 2 month post next week after we go to her 2 month appointment so that I have her stats, so I don't want to give too much away.
But on a side note, I find that I can look at Leigha and think about her growing up and going to school and getting married even and not burst into tears.   At least not every time  :D  (Hey I'm an emotional person anyway, I gotta have some moments). 

Girl is starting to get some cheeks on her, and OH EM GEEEE they are so friggin squishable and KISSABLE.  I just love baby cheeks.  Its starting to get to the point where she is getting bigger (which I always knew, duh!) but now I am starting to be able to see the differences.   She smiles a heck of a lot, although more so when she is waking up or going to sleep, so I guess we are only funny when she's tired.  Or when she needs a diaper change actually.  LOL.  I used to change her in the living room if we were in there because it seemed easier to me, but ever since we had that close call with poop on the couch, I only change her in her room on the washable waterproof changing pad LOL. Anyways, thats beside the point.  Whenever we bring her in her room and put her on the table, she breaks into the biggest grins.  So either she really likes having her diaper changed or she likes her room.  I prefer the latter especially since I worked SO HARD to make it as cute and as fun as possible  :) 

We are going to our first ever consignment sale tomorrow.  I range between nervous and excited.  I got a new mom pass, so I get to go early.  I am mainly looking for a swing, but if I find some other clothes and toys and things like that, I won't be disappointed.  I have to be at my parent's house at 7:30, which means that I will have to leave the house about 6:45, which means I will have to get up and get myself and Leigha dressed and ready to go about 5:30 ish or 6.  I'm not looking forward to that part.  I anticipate having to feed Leigha while I am at the sale, which I am not opposed to doing, I plan on bringing a bottle anyways.  I have a little mini backpack, and I plan on using it because I want to be as hands free as possible.  They discourage strollers and things like that because its hard to keep track of if they are brought in or sold, but I will be wearing her, which is not that big of a deal.  I'm trying to think quick.  I have looked up "consignment how too's on you tube, so I think I am good to go. I will have to keep you posted on how I do on staying within my budget and if I get what I want.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

The aftermath

Since I had Leigha, I have had a whole host of problems that have popped up.  Some were so bad (at least i think so) that I am pretty proud of myself, and happy that I did not spiral deep into postpartum depression. 

***The second night (while I was still in the hospital) I had Leigha in the room late after everyone had left.  I was nursing her and my nurse came in to check my vitals.  She said to call her when she was done nursing so that she could check my blood pressure and heart rate and breathing and all that good stuff.   I had been told by one of the nursery nurses that when Leigha was done she would fall asleep and unlatch herself.  Well she was going on for an hour so I tried to take her off, and she screamed bloody murder till I put her back on.  This went on for about an hour, with me and her alternately crying because I was exhausted and needed sleep and they wouldn't let her stay with me while I was sleeping, and I thought maybe she wasn't getting enough milk.  Finally my nurse came back in and with tears streaming down my face, I told her what was going on.  She took one look at Leigha and told me she was using me as a pacifier.  And we worked at trying to get her to stop, and finally after many tears I gave in and let her have a pacifier.  I didn't want her to have one this early, I wanted to wait the requisite 3-4 weeks that they tell you about online so that we didn't have any problems breastfeeding.  That was  really rough night and I think I cried for an hour after they took her back to the nursery because I was scared about the decision that I made.

***The first day home was perfect.  She slept, Richard and I took naps, and cleaned the house a little.  However that night she screamed her head off for 5 hours straight.  She didn't want to eat, didn't seem to want to sleep, wasn't wet.  I had tried to burp her and nothing happened.  I was crying, begging her to stop long enough for her to breathe.  I was sure if she did, she would fall asleep, but it didn't happen.  I apologized to her numerous times for being her mother because obviously I wasn't doing something right.  Richard even joined in the panic and was furiously looking up on the internet "how to stop a baby from crying"  Finally I just set her on my knee and trying to get her to calm down and I must have patted her back for 20 minutes and finally she let out the loudest burp, sighed, and fell asleep sitting up.  Several more times she would do this at night, and each time with the same result.  She was extremely hard to burp.

*** Right after having Leigha, I noticed my stomach starting to itch.  I didn't think anything of it.  I had bad stretchmarks, and figured they were healing.  Then about a week after it spread to my thighs, my chest, upper and lower arms and my legs. It got so much worse whenever I would nurse her.  I was literally scratching the skin off my body.  I called my OB.  I never got to talk to him, I talked to the nurse, who blew my off and said it couldn't be related to the pregnancy, and take a benadryl and drink water.  I called my dermatologist who immediately told me over the phone it was a hormone imbalance caused by the delivery.  He gave me a cream and pills to take and it cleared up (I have since asked my Dr. about it, he had no idea and was shocked.  He named the rashes having to do with being puritis, which is what I had, and said he probably would have sent me to a dermatologist anyway.

***The latest thing is I have come down with a bad sore throat and cold.  I thought that it had gone away, but it is sticking around with a vengance.  I can't talk to her or sing to her like I usually do, which I hate, and I can't kiss on her like I usually do, so the house has been quite silent the past couple of days.  I've been taking cold meds and I think they are starting to dry up my supply, so I am drinking mothers milk tea and eating oatmeal like its going out of style.  Hopefully once I stop, it will come back to normal, and I will be able to stack my supply back up.  And this morning, I woke up with two red eyes.  I'm hoping its not pink eye and that my cold is just settling in my eyes, which has happened to me before and is really horrible.  And I believe I have a double ear infection.  I'm headed to the doctor in the morning to find out for sure.

I'm praying that Leigha doesn't get any of this, and every little wimper or cry that she feels a little warm I'm running for the pacifier thermometer.  She hasn't gotten anything yet (knock on wood) and pray that she doesn't.  I don't know what I would do if she did.  I'd feel so bad that I got her sick.

Just once, I would like to enjoy my baby without having to take any medications, or be sick, or worry that something that I am taking or something that is wrong with me is effecting her.  

Sunday, September 11, 2011


I just love watching this little person sleep.

Its just the sweetest thing EVER!!!  I literally spend hours doing this, and I don't even realize that I am.  Usually my day starts at 8 am.  She gets up, I feed her, and we play a little.  This usually consists of us dancing around the house to songs that are made up spur of the moment to tunes that I can't remember the words to anyway.  Then she naps.  I watch TV, or try to get housework done, but it doesn't, and I couldn't tell you what I watch because I spend most of my time watching her.

She wakes up about 11:30, I feed her, we play some more, some tickling, some playing with her feet, some walking around the house telling her what things are, she naps again.  And again I can't tell you what's on TV or what housework needs to be done.

Same thing for her 4:00 feeding.

Richard usually gets her for the 7:00 feeding and I get her back for the 10:00 one, but after that its bedtime, and I lay in bed, in the dark, with just a little light from the alarm clock, just enough to watch that little face smiling at her dreams.

I wonder what she dreams about. 

There isn't anything sweeter than watching this little person sleep.  I'm so in love with her, and my house is a wreck, and I am so behind on my shows, and I couldn't care less.