Thursday, November 17, 2011

Randoms and a couple of vents

  • I ended up sending Leigha an email.  Its not a sappy one.  I just told her that I loved her and told her about the blog and sent her the link and told her what it was about.  I'll probably send more.
  • I am pretty sure that she is teething, but being a first time mom, I have ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE what I am looking for.  I know she drools a lot, constantly chews on her hands, feet, toys, me, and the sides of her pacifier. Oh yeah, and she is REALLY grumpy.  I ask what I need to look for and people tell me that she would have a little fever, (which sometimes she feels warm and has a tiny 1 degree temp, not sure if that is from her fussing or not) and that her gums would be swollen (I have no idea what swollen is), and that I would feel the teeth, (I can't, but they have to come from somewhere right?)
  • Today has been the day from hell.  For some strange reason I didn't sleep last night.  I was super tired, but I couldn't shut my mind off I guess.  She woke up once which is fine, but then woke up at the butt crack of dawn at 6:30 and was up for good so in total I got 4 hours of sleep.  I even tried to bring her back to bed and get her to sleep with me but didn't have any luck.  She then pooped, peed, or spit-up on every single outfit that I put her in.  We went through 6 outfits today and 2 changes of jammies tonight.  She pooped in her bouncer. She wouldn't nap except on me.  She peed in my bed.  She rolled over from back to stomach several times, but refused to go back the other way which led to lots and lots of screaming.  I REALLY hope that this is a one time deal because I don't know how many of these kinds of days that I can take. 
  • I started my period back last month, and I think its getting ready to be that time of the month.  I guess there is one good thing that being sleep deprived causes....PMS!  I have been nursing her like crazy trying as hard as I can to increase my supply, so I'm hoping that it stays away this month.  I really don't feel like dealing with it.  
  •  I've been incredibly frustrated lately.  I'm frustrated that there are times that I can't figure her out.  I'm frustrated that she is still not sleeping through the night.  I'm frustrated that I try to tell Richard what is going on with her and that he NEVER listens to me.  I'm frustrated that I feel like I'm doing this all by myself with no help.  I'm frustrated that Richard seems upset and frustrated, I'm sure because of work, probably because of me too.  I'm frustrated that this whole parenting thing isn't going how I thought that it would.  In short, I'm just a joy to be around at the moment LOL.  (PMS at its finest)  I feel bad that I just called my husband out on my blog, but I tell him the same things in person anyway.  He really is a good dad, I just wish he would listen to me.
  •  I feel like I need a vacation LOL.  I'm only 4 months into this and I already feel that in the world am I going to handle the next 18 + years.  EEK!!
  • My little brother is getting married....still really weird to say that.   But he may elope.  Not sure how I feel about that.   I think that it would be awesome to do that because how cool are destination wedding pics! and part of me wishes he would stay and get married her because it would be hard to afford for us to go (yeah, thats selfish but I don't care, I only have one brother)
  • I am a pinterest addict.  I can't help it.  I wish that I could say that I do some of the things that I pin, but I don't...YET!  I have a huge board of things that I want to sew, and I am going to widdle that one down once I get my machine tomorrow.  And I am planning a pinterest dinner once our kitchen gets back to normal. 
  • I love love LOVE my kitchen.  Its tore all to pieces, there are no doors on the cabinets, and half the cabinets are down and getting reinforced by Richard and we have no counters, but I LOVE IT!  Its going to be so pretty when it gets finished.  
  • Its midnight and Leigha has been asleep for 2 hours now and I'm just now getting sleepy.  This is going to be a fun day tomorrow at my makeover appointment. LOL

Saturday, November 12, 2011


So you know that commercial that they had on a while back.  It ran most of the time towards the end of my pregnancy where this dad sets up and starts emailing his daughter details about their life starting when she is a baby, and he sends her videos and pictures and things like that?  Well, Richard has been doing this.  He has set Leigha up an email account and has been sending her emails.  When he told me a couple of months ago I fell in love with that man all over again.  (Yes, granted he probably got the idea from the commercial, but who cares, he's doing it! LOL)  Anyway, I begged him for the email address so that I could send her emails too.  I didn't want her to have several email addresses already set up that she would have to check, I would rather her have just one email address to have all these special letters from her parents. 

Anyways, I haven't sent her any emails yet.  I know that I want to, but I have no idea what I want to say to her.  And partially I'm scared that Richard will read them, and I don't want him to.  So I asked him to give me the password (he refuses adamantly!)  He won't give it because he doesn't want me to read her letters from him.  Makes sense...afterall isn't that the whole reason I haven't sent her anything yet? LOL.

I'm torn.  I still don't know if I want to send her emails, I'm afraid she will think that they are stupid and corny, and even though I'm sure at multiple times in her life she will think I'm stupid and corny, I don't want it to happen too soon. 

Maybe I will at least start one, and then I can decide if I want to send it later....I mean after all, I will tell her about this blog so she can read all about how she came to get here....Yeah, I think that's what I'll do.

(Yes, I know I"m weird and that I overthink things, but hey, that's part of my charm...right? ;)  LOL)

***And honey, if you are reading this, can I please get the password to the account?  Just think of it this way, if something were to happen (GOD FORBID!) I want to be able to tell her the account is there so she can read your letters. 

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Quick update

Leigha is in her room asleep and while she is in there she will get about 30-45 minutes total of sleep before she wakes up.  She has been in there about 15 minutes already so I only have 15-30 minutes left to type this. (Oh I hope this gets better LOL) 

We have moved the beautiful one to her own room.  I decided that with her being 13 pounds and rapidly gaining more, I would rather not break her bassinet since we are just borrowing it from some friends of my parent's.  So we started on Sunday night.  The first night she slept on the floor with me.  The second night she slept half in her crib, and at about 5am came onto the floor with me.   (I made a "bed" with pillows and blankets) The next night she slept entirely in her bed while I was on the floor. and last night I tried sleeping in my own bed using the monitor, but it didn't end up so well, she woke up every 2 hours and since I am not feeling so well I slept in there from about 2 am on.  (Is that enough nights from Sunday to today?  I can't think straight.  It probably isn't but it probably was some variation with her on the floor and in the crib.)

I wasn't planning on putting her in her crib till Christmas, so this has been incredibly hard on me.  I'm totally not ready for this stage in her life.  I know that its for the best, but still doesn't make it any easier on me at all.  I have spent the last couple nights crying to sleep.

Well its been about 30 minutes in her crib and right on time she is waking up....Time to get her.  I will try to post more later.  So much has happened that I need to update on.

Till later!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

3 month letter

My darling little beautiful one,

3 months has come and gone SO FAST.  I never knew time could move so quickly.  But I have loved every minute of it.  I love waking up to see your face, which starts out as crying until I pick you up, then you are all smiles and cuddles for about 5 minutes before you remember that you are hungry.

You have started smiling a LOT more.  Last month you pretty much smiled only in the morning and at night.  Now you smile a lot more during the day, and you have started smiling at more people and not just your Daddy and I.  However, you still pretty much refuse to smile for the camera if you know its there.  I can catch you sometimes if I hold it far enough back and zoom in because you still can't see that far away, and forget shooting a video, you just stare with this blank look on your face most of the time.

This past month my Grandma (your Hun-hun) was in town.  You loved her.  You felt so content with her you fell asleep in her arms most every time she held you, and towards the end of her visit, she was even able to have a 'conversation' with you because you were talking so much.  She loved it.  I know it was very hard for her to leave you and go back home to California, but she will be back in the spring hopefully so you will get to see her again.

You do like to talk alot to me and your dad, and when we make the same noises back at you you think its the greatest thing ever!  You smile so big.  You also have recently started trying to stuff your hand in your mouth, which makes for some very interesting sounds when you try to talk or cry even.
You are even trying to roll over. Kinda.  You like to roll on your side and sometimes you are perfectly content to stay there but other times you really try to get all the way over.  I have tried to put you on your stomach several times to see if you will roll over that way, and you have done it once, but I think it was more of an accident because I haven't been able to get you to do it since.  But that's OK, all in good time sweetheart, you will get there.  And if I'm being honest here, I don't want you to do it too quickly because that just means you are getting so big.

Speaking of big, I had to take you to the doctor last week because you had some weird skin things going on on your back and chest and legs.  They had me weigh you and you now weigh 13 pounds 2 oz.  You have grown a whole pound and a half since our last visit a month ago...A POUND AND A HALF IN A MONTH!  I can feel it too.  I can no longer pick you straight up out of your bassinet, now I have to tilt you to a sitting or kneeling position in order to pick you up that way.  But that's what I get for having such a tall bed huh ;)

But at the doctor they told me that you have eczema, and that's what is wrong with your skin.  But we have all kinds of creams and lotions and it is getting a smidge better so far.  Your doctor has also put me on a special diet.  I am no longer allowed to have dairy, nuts, eggs, or seafood.  The seafood part is pretty easy because I don't like fish (although I won't ever tell you that till you're older because I want you to like it) and I can do without shrimp.  The dairy, eggs and nuts though are a whole other ball game.  I LOVE those things.  Its hard, but I will do ANYTHING to help you get better because I know that your skin makes you uncomfortable...I am sorry for that sweetie.  I wish you didn't have to go through that.

This has been a really fun month so far.  I can really tell that you are getting so much bigger.  You are still throwing us for a loop with sleeping though.  Sometimes you do it, and sometimes you don't.  You still take the small cat naps during the day, only about 30-45 minutes at a time and you take several throughout the day.  Sometimes this is nice as it occasionally will help you sleep for a longer stretch at night because you are so tired by the end of the day, and other times its frustrating because I no sooner put you down then you are back awake again, so its hard to get things done around the house like cleaning.  Although I have to admit, I would rather you do that and me have to entertain you all the time than clean.  Hopefully you don't inherit the same hatred of cleaning that I have.  I hope you are a neat freak and teach me to be one.

You still do this little curling into a ball when you are waking up and we pick you up.  I am trying to find someone to capture it on video because I want to have that on record because its not something that you do every time, and I know soon you will stop.

I know that there is a LOT more stuff that you have started doing my sweetheart, and that I need to start typing this letter out as the month progresses, but as I said before your napping times leave me very little time to get much done around here.   But hopefully things will get better.

I love you my sweetheart, you are the light of my life and I love you with all my heart.


Tuesday, November 1, 2011

I'm still here!

I am, I promise.  Just lately we have been struggling with emotional issues, breastfeeding issues, my grandma was in town, work has been crazy, my mom got sick, the remodeling of the kitchen is in full swing, and basically life has gotten in the way of blogging LOL. 

I have been working on her 3 month letter and just an update in general, but its a slow process.  Leigha will usually only sleep in my arms, and I think she is getting her days and nights mixed up again.

I am trying a new nap technique of making the room as dark as possible and letting her nap in her room, so hopefully that will go well and I will be able to post a little more in the next few weeks.  I really promise this time too.  I have found that blogging is a good for me!