Wednesday, September 14, 2011

The aftermath

Since I had Leigha, I have had a whole host of problems that have popped up.  Some were so bad (at least i think so) that I am pretty proud of myself, and happy that I did not spiral deep into postpartum depression. 

***The second night (while I was still in the hospital) I had Leigha in the room late after everyone had left.  I was nursing her and my nurse came in to check my vitals.  She said to call her when she was done nursing so that she could check my blood pressure and heart rate and breathing and all that good stuff.   I had been told by one of the nursery nurses that when Leigha was done she would fall asleep and unlatch herself.  Well she was going on for an hour so I tried to take her off, and she screamed bloody murder till I put her back on.  This went on for about an hour, with me and her alternately crying because I was exhausted and needed sleep and they wouldn't let her stay with me while I was sleeping, and I thought maybe she wasn't getting enough milk.  Finally my nurse came back in and with tears streaming down my face, I told her what was going on.  She took one look at Leigha and told me she was using me as a pacifier.  And we worked at trying to get her to stop, and finally after many tears I gave in and let her have a pacifier.  I didn't want her to have one this early, I wanted to wait the requisite 3-4 weeks that they tell you about online so that we didn't have any problems breastfeeding.  That was  really rough night and I think I cried for an hour after they took her back to the nursery because I was scared about the decision that I made.

***The first day home was perfect.  She slept, Richard and I took naps, and cleaned the house a little.  However that night she screamed her head off for 5 hours straight.  She didn't want to eat, didn't seem to want to sleep, wasn't wet.  I had tried to burp her and nothing happened.  I was crying, begging her to stop long enough for her to breathe.  I was sure if she did, she would fall asleep, but it didn't happen.  I apologized to her numerous times for being her mother because obviously I wasn't doing something right.  Richard even joined in the panic and was furiously looking up on the internet "how to stop a baby from crying"  Finally I just set her on my knee and trying to get her to calm down and I must have patted her back for 20 minutes and finally she let out the loudest burp, sighed, and fell asleep sitting up.  Several more times she would do this at night, and each time with the same result.  She was extremely hard to burp.

*** Right after having Leigha, I noticed my stomach starting to itch.  I didn't think anything of it.  I had bad stretchmarks, and figured they were healing.  Then about a week after it spread to my thighs, my chest, upper and lower arms and my legs. It got so much worse whenever I would nurse her.  I was literally scratching the skin off my body.  I called my OB.  I never got to talk to him, I talked to the nurse, who blew my off and said it couldn't be related to the pregnancy, and take a benadryl and drink water.  I called my dermatologist who immediately told me over the phone it was a hormone imbalance caused by the delivery.  He gave me a cream and pills to take and it cleared up (I have since asked my Dr. about it, he had no idea and was shocked.  He named the rashes having to do with being puritis, which is what I had, and said he probably would have sent me to a dermatologist anyway.

***The latest thing is I have come down with a bad sore throat and cold.  I thought that it had gone away, but it is sticking around with a vengance.  I can't talk to her or sing to her like I usually do, which I hate, and I can't kiss on her like I usually do, so the house has been quite silent the past couple of days.  I've been taking cold meds and I think they are starting to dry up my supply, so I am drinking mothers milk tea and eating oatmeal like its going out of style.  Hopefully once I stop, it will come back to normal, and I will be able to stack my supply back up.  And this morning, I woke up with two red eyes.  I'm hoping its not pink eye and that my cold is just settling in my eyes, which has happened to me before and is really horrible.  And I believe I have a double ear infection.  I'm headed to the doctor in the morning to find out for sure.

I'm praying that Leigha doesn't get any of this, and every little wimper or cry that she feels a little warm I'm running for the pacifier thermometer.  She hasn't gotten anything yet (knock on wood) and pray that she doesn't.  I don't know what I would do if she did.  I'd feel so bad that I got her sick.

Just once, I would like to enjoy my baby without having to take any medications, or be sick, or worry that something that I am taking or something that is wrong with me is effecting her.  

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