Day in the life, 8/11/2012

 I don't have my normal camera this time around and I found it a little difficult to get my husband's camera to cooperate.  Sometimes it took a picture with a flash and sometimes not, with the same picture only seconds apart and sometimes it wouldn't take a picture at all or they were extremely blurry, so I didn't get many good pictures.  And if you go by the time stamp they don't match up.  I took some pics out of sequence because I didn't get a good pic the first time around, so I just took a pic about it a little later in the day ;)

Also a big Thank You to Laura at Navigating the Mothership for hosting the Day in the life project again.  If you want to read my previous days, click here and here.

1:00 am  I wake up because my leg is itching and I'm cold.  We have a door to our deck in our room and we left it open last night because the weather last night and today is supposed to be AWESOME!  It got down to about 60 last night and was a little bit chillier than what I am used to sleeping in during this crazy summer (heat wise LOL)  But because of the antidepressants that I am taking I'm up till about 4. Fun times.

2:00 am  I decide to get up and get a drink of water and turn on the TV to watch the Olympics because I just can't fall asleep even  though I want to so bad.  On my way to the bathroom I see a weird shaped spot on the floor.  Its a little frog that must have gotten in through the open door.  Richard has heard me get up and asked what was wrong and I told him there was a frog in the house.  I poke at it and its dead.  I wonder if I accidentally stepped on it when I got up, and hope that I didn't.

6:30 am Leigha is up.  I figure that its probably about 8 and get ready to get up but when I look at the clock and see 6:30 I bury my head back under the covers and will her to go back to sleep, but unfortunately that doesn't happen, so I go get her and we sit in the living room watching the news.

7:30 am  I can't believe that Leigha has sat quietly and cuddled for the last hour.  But she's up now, and so is everyone else in the house so she gets to eat breakfast.

8:15 am While she eats her puffs I check my facebook and when she is finished I change the channel to Threes Company (Mitt Romney is announcing his running mate BLECH, I hate politics!)  and sort out some too small clothes and next season clothes.  Leigha "helps"

9:00 am, I hop in the shower because we have LOTS to do today.  Surprisingly enough I actually somewhat style my hair and I am pleased with it.  Its a new cut and I like it, but haven't done my hair in so long that I forget how sometimes LOL.Leigha plays while I do this, climbs in her bathtub and into her rocker. 

 

9: 45 am  Out the door.  We have to meet someone who wants all the baby food jars that I had been saving in a half hearted attempt to force myself to make and store my own baby food.  Richard is thrilled to get them out of the house LOL.  60 something jars and lids.

10: 00 am  Walmart run to pick up 3 things...Dog food, toothpaste, and Thank you notes....$60 later ;) LOL

11:00 am is nap time.  I was running dangerously close to a major meltdown by taking Leigha to Walmart but thankfully we survived that one! :D

11:30 am I bite the bullet and start figuring out thank you notes for Leigha's party.  I forgot to write down what everyone got her so I have to do it from memory.  I'm doing pretty good, but there is one gift that I just can't remember who got it for her.  and one person who I can't remember what she gave, but I really don't think that those 2 match up.  Oh well. 

12:00 Leigha wakes up.  Richard and I have some plans to do some running around town but first the girl needs to be fed, and Richard sneaks a snack himself.

12:45 pm.  Richard mowed the grass this morning but had to go get his parent's lawn mower because he discovered a fuel leak in ours, so we return it now and visit with the in-laws for a while before heading up to deliver some tables for a local consignment sale so that I can get in and shop before everyone else.  We spend the next couple of hours driving all over town.

 

2:30 pm  We head to Best buy because for my birthday present this past week Richard said he wanted me to pick out a nook, then we head home with my new present, and lunch from Hardees.

3:00 pm.  Finally home I rush to put Leigha to bed for her afternoon nap while Richard gets the food ready and I plug in my nook and start playing with it and downloading books while it charges.  I spend pretty much the rest of the afternoon searching for and downloading free books.

4:00 pm Leigha wakes up from her nap so Richard gets her and we play and cuddle for a while.  She has started giving hugs on command and of course she loves giving Richard hugs all the time without asking.  Its so cute. But they don't last long as its now playtime and the first thing she grabs is her camera.

5:00 pm  I put some chicken in a pot to cook so I can make dinner a little later, and feed Leigha dinner.

5:30 pm  Richard starts cleaning out his man cave. While we were remodeling the kitchen all his tools and everything else ended up in there, and never got cleaned up.  It was AWFUL.  I hated that room,but as an agreement when we got the house I told him he could do whatever he wanted to with it, but I was not going to touch it, decorating or cleaning or anything else, it was all his. (Awesome deal if you ask me, he has TONS of collectibles in there that seem to require constant dusting LOL)  Anyway, Leigha tries to help him.  He has found an old keyboard so he gives it to her to play with, and that occupies her time for about 30 minutes or so.

6:00 I start to shred the chicken to make chicken tacos, add the seasonings and start getting the toppings ready.

6:45 pm.  Richard and I want to eat in peace without little hands grabbing at our plates so I quickly give Leigha a bath and get her ready for bed. She's asleep by about 7:15

7:00 pm.  Dinner time...and OH its is SO good!!!  We haven't had this in forever.

8:00 pm We turn on the olympics for the last evening.  I love the olympics.  I really wish that they would come more often.  We were talking earlier in the car during our errands today that I think this is the first year ever where I have watched all or nearly all of the events.  Not necessairly the whole thing, but I would see the highlights and things.

8:15  We go outside and try to see some of the meteor shower.  We didn't see anything

8:30  We come back in and I realize that Leigha is crying.  We had turned down the monitors and didn't turn them back up and forgot to bring one outside with us.  I don't know how long she had been crying, but when I went in I couldn't calm her down.  I end up having to nurse her to get her to calm and she finally went back to sleep about 9.

9:15 No such luck, she's up again.  I am not sure if it is teething or another ear infection so I get her some Tylenol and head to her room.  I rock her and she is asleep again within minutes.  This time till 5 am.  I make a note to call the doctor on Monday morning because she has been doing this for about a week now.  

9:30 Richard is watching TV, I"m not really sure what it is, and I curl up next to him and read some more books on the nook.  I love this thing.

10:00  We head to bed, but I stay up reading till about 11:30 when I finally call it a night.

The cutest video EVER!!!

I took this video the other day.  Richard and I while watching TV sometimes will just randomly pick up a pillow and throw it at each other.  This was one of those days.  I happened to be holding Leigha when I picked up a pillow and threw it at him, he threw it back and Leigha started uncontrollably laughing.  Of course I made Richard grab the camera.  This is the best video I have of her to date and I can't help but laughing every time I watch it.

Oh and I FINALLY have Leigha's pictures back from her birthday party and I am working on a birthday post and 1 year letter and a day in the life post AND general family update.  Looks like August might just be a record posting month for me LOL.

The End

I did it.  I breast fed Leigha for 1 year, 1 week and 6 days.  I accomplished my goal.  I had known that I wanted to wean her for some time, I just thought that the evening feeding before she went to bed would be the hardest, it was the only one we had left.

Today I decided that I was going to try not feeding her tonight before she went to sleep.  I had been dreading it for weeks.  I told Richard that it was going to be a rough evening.  I gave her her bath, put her jammies on, she got her good night kisses from Daddy waved goodbye to him and off we went to her room.

During naps I usually hold her and sing a couple songs and she starts to fall asleep in my arms and I put her in her bed.  Tonight I did the same thing.  She never put up a fight.  She cried a little when I put her in her bed but as soon as I shut her door she stopped.

I was crying as I left her room.  I never imagined that it would be this hard.  I knew that I only wanted to do this for a year.  I guess I enjoyed the private time more than I thought that I would.  Now its over.

I told Richard that I never dreamed it was this hard to stop.  He told me to look at the bright side that maybe now we can work on someone else putting her to bed.  That will be hard too.  No one has ever put her to bed but me.  I don't know how that will work.

But for now, its over.  1 year, 1 week, 6 days.  Its a wonderful accomplishment that went WAY too fast.

Postpartum Depression update.

So a while back I decided to go see a doctor for what I believed to be postpartum depression.  I didn't know who to see for it, so I decided to start by calling my OB/GYN to see who he recommended.  I left a message for the doctor, but his nurse called me back.  I told her my problem, that I hadn't felt like myself since Leigha was born blah, blah blah, and that I wanted to see a doctor and who did he recommend.  She said she would talk to him and call me back later in the day.  When she called back she told me that he didn't believe that it was PPD that it usually manifests itself shortly after delivery and I was more than likely suffering from plain ole depression and that he couldn't help me, but the nurse told me that if I sent her a copy of my insurance card that she would look up and find me a PCP who could see me...I never send the copy of the card.

Let me take a minute here and say that I realize that I just asked someone for help who had in the past proved to never really help me in the first place.  He (or his staff) never really took my concerns seriously, that I was treated like a money maker for him and that I felt like I was never that important.  Don't get me wrong I don't expect my doctors to see only me, but when a doctor doesn't give you reasonable explanations for questions other than "because I like them"  or completely blows me off because he is getting ready to walk out the door, that's not a good doctor no matter if he is the chief of the OB/GYN dept at the hospital or not.  I will NOT be going back to him ever.  I have given the office several second chances and they have never met my expectations.

Going back to square 1, I looked up our insurance to see if the visits would be covered, they were.  I looked up a doctor that was covered under our insurance, I found one.  I called and made an appointment....and then I canceled it because as it turned out there was a misunderstanding concerning the start date of the coverage, it didn't start when we were told it would.

Fast forward a month and now we KNOW the insurance is effective.  I look up that doctor and keep her phone number in my pocket for a week because I thought I was getting better.  I felt better, I had a positive outlook on things, I thought the worst was over.  But then the feeling of inadequacy came back.  The dread of naptime and sleeping, the constant frustration and crying...mine and Leigha's...and I knew in that first few days that I really needed to make that appointment.

When I called the receptionist told me it would take 3 weeks to get me in.  That was fine. I still had to get up the guts to actually go anyways.  I was so afraid she would tell me what every other doctor and person I talked to said.  That it was a chronic lack of sleep and that I needed to have someone take Leigha for a day or 2 and do nothing but rest. 

This past week I had my first appointment.  I talked, I cried, I told her that it had gotten easier but I still didn't feel like myself.  I told her how I used to feel back when I was pregnant and how I feel now.  I told her about Leigha and what a sweet girl she is and how I hate not feeling as bonded to her as I want to.  She asked if anything made me happy, and I told her about Leigha's party this past weekend (that post is coming, I am waiting on pictures to come back) and that I was excited for our anniversary dinner later that night. I told her about Richard and how I was nervous at the beginning but he proves time and time again what a wonderful amazing husband he is and father he has become.  She asked me what happened after Leigha was born and I told her about the rash and the colds and the flu and the not sleeping and the doctor telling me I needed more sleep and she listened the whole time.

She then told me that she believed that I do have what is now a mild case of postpartum depression.  That it was probably much worse but that I was able to work my way through it and she has put me on medication.  I go back in 3 weeks for a medication check.  She wants it to get in my system then evaluate me again in a few weeks and make a plan from there.

This is day 3 on the medication and while I can't really tell a huge difference at the moment, I can tell that I feel more at peace.  Leigha had a rough day yesterday and I didn't get upset or cry right along with her.  I am starting to feel more like my old self every day.  Its so nice to have a doctor that listens to me and wants to help me get better. 

I'm getting back on track and THAT makes me REALLY happy!

The last days

I've been understandably nostalgic the last few days with Leigha's birthday coming up on Tuesday.  Tonight especially.  On July 22nd last year, at about 7:00 my best friend came over because she wanted to try her hand at taking some maternity pics.  I love her pics and I wasn't about to turn down more maternity pics since I had loved the last ones so much that another friend had taken a couple days prior. 

Kristy is more into the artistic pictures, and I love those.  I have shown lots of her pics on this blog, she is AMAZING.  She is a new photographer and I have been begging her for years to open her own photography business she is that good, and she is finally in the process of making it happen!  Anyways, if you are in the Nashville area and looking for a photographer, let me know, I am sure she would love the business! 

She had me lie down on the ground on my back, lie on my side, sit up, stand up, twist this way and that way.  Basically everything short of bending over and touching my toes (although if she thought it would make for a good picture, I'm sure she would have asked me to do that too LOL) 

I wasn't uncomfortable at the time.  Her and Richard both kept asking if I was OK.  Looking back I think I maybe had what felt like a little heart burn, but nothing I hadn't had before.  She didn't stay long because it was late and didn't take many pictures, but I love them all.  (I posted a few of my favorites.  I don't think that I have ever shared them before.)  After she left, Richard and I were both super tired so we went right to bed about 10:00. 

July 23rd at about 3:00 am (less than 5 hours after our photo shoot ended), my first contraction hit and our lives were never the same again. 

If I can get around to posting these next couple days, be prepared for some pretty sappy ones as there isn't a day that goes by without me crying at some point that my baby is turning 1!.

Take a look at Kristy's pictures, the pics that put me into labor.

I think this picture with the L is probably my all time favorite picture that I have, maternity wise.

 Richard just loves to be goofy, but I think I had him beat!

This is a pretty good one too.  Probably a second favorite of hers.

 

I hope that everyone has had a great weekend!!

Video bomb!

I have no idea if I have posted this video yet. The girl loves to dance.  I took this about a month ago and the dancing hasn't stopped, if anything its probably increased in amount.  Commercials, TV theme songs, the chime on the fridge that tells me its open....she will dance for anything.

She has recently outgrown size 3 diapers...of course she did this 3 diapers into the economy pack for 200 diapers, but whatever.  I had them all boxed up nice and neat to put up in the attic to save for babies later down the road.  One night while I was working and Richard was out, she was being super quiet.  When I went to investigate, this is what I found. (And just in case you were wondering, I didn't leave her to wander the house, the box was outside my office in the hall.  I had her blocked off to the rest of the house except for her room).

We knew that Leigha loves dogs, she tries to play with Espn and Allie all the time but unfortunately they don't care much for her and run and hide whenever she comes in the room.  We went over to a friend's house for the fourth and their dog LOVES kids, and so this is Leigha getting to know him.  And in one of those videos, it looks like he kicks her, he did, but it didn't leave a mark or phase her, she kept going back for more.

This girl LOVES strawberries and whipped cream.  My mom was eating a bowl of strawberries, and called her over.  When Leigha saw what it was, I have NEVER seen her crawl so fast to get food.  She is such a food hog.  She's already eating me out of house and home.  She eats a jar and a half of food at each sitting, (which is more than what her doctor recommends at this age) and a snack in the afternoon and drinks constantly, but she NEVER seems to get full!.

Just some cute recent updates.  We're in FULL ON party planning mode around here. 11 days till her birthday and 15 days till her party.  I'm running around town like a mad woman, poor Leigha won't know what to do with herself once all this running around is over and she can start naps in her own bed rather than the back seat of the car.  LOL.

The countdown is on!

I think that I need to title every single post "A bunch of random stuff" because that's what they all end up being. LOL

In 26 days, it will be Leigha's Birthday (and Richard's too).  I have been in party planning mode for the last 6 months.  I know what party decorations we are going to use, I know what her theme is (Hugs and stitches) I know what people I want to invite, I know what food we are going to serve, I know what my plans for that day are going to be, but I am in NO WAY prepared for this, but then I wonder if any parent really is.

I finally ordered her invitations from Shutterfly the other day.  I am super happy with them.  I want to post them here but I can't figure out how to save the image and block out the address and stuff ;)  I kept hoping that if I delayed ordering them long enough then I wouldn't have to send them of and then I wouldn't have my baby turn 1.  No such luck I think.  

And how in the world have I not caught onto Shutterfly before?!  I not only ordered her invites, but also about 50 pictures (to fill most of the empty picture frames that we have around the house LOL) and have recently ordered a photo book, all free....well except for shipping, but still, not a bad deal to get a really nice photo book for $8.  (To see it, just click on the link, I can't figure out how to get it on the blog, if you know how, please let me know)

Leigha's Book 

We were going to do lunch and grill out hamburgers, but Richard mentioned that someone will have to spend all that time outside in the heat grilling those hamburgers, which of course isn't fair to the person who has to do it (either him or his dad since the party is at his parent's house since our AC is out) so I am making everything.  I think I am pretty well set on the food.  I am planning on little smokies, meatballs, chips and dips, fruit...probably watermelon and cantaloupe, and pineapple, and of course the cake.  I think that should be plenty of food.  I have no clue how many people will be attending, I guess if lots of them don't come, I can adjust the amount.

I have also contacted a lady that I found online through Craigslist who has extras of the plates and cups and tablecloths that are in the design that I want to decorate with.  Problem is she lives over an hour away, and I really don't know if its worth driving that far to spend $20 to save $40.  She has lots more stuff than I will need, especially tablecloths and such, but I can always bunch them up and use them as banners or put under her highchair when she does her smash cake or whatever, or make a photo booth kinda thing with them.

All-in-all I guess, I'm pretty excited about it, she is 1, we get to see friends, I get to cook.  I just wish it didn't have to get here so FAST!

Weaning

The subject of weaning Leigha has been coming up a lot lately.  By me, by Richard, by my Mom.  I always knew that I wanted to make it a year, which I will.  After that, I am fine with weaning Leigha.  Although if you go further, that's fantastic!  Its just not for me. 

I have managed to get her down to 2 feedings a day.  Once before she goes to bed and once when she wakes up.  I am hoping to sometime in the next month get that down to one feeding a day.  However, I'm not entirely sure which one to cut out first.  I'm kinda leaning more towards the morning feeding and then leaving the bedtime one for after she turns one.   

Mom tells me just to stop.  Just don't offer it anymore, that she will get used to it, but I just can't do it.  I don't want to go cold turkey (which is what my mom suggested) because with me not being always very emotionally strong at the moment, I don't want to add that stress to my life, which of course, mom doesn't understand.  Now, the question is....exactly how do I do it.  With cutting out the other feedings in the past they have slowly been replaced by eating baby food and an occasional sippy cup and sometimes a stronger interest in playing with toys, but I don't know if that will work with these 2 feedings.  She doesn't take a bottle, so I don't know if I should just suck it up and go cold turkey, or if there is a better way. 

I have tried giving her a little sip of whole milk about a week ago which she immediately threw back up just seconds after swallowing it, so I'm also afraid of some sort of an allergy, and I haven't tried giving her any since.  I'm thinking almond or goats milk may be another way to go. 

Looks like I have some research to do. Or if anyone has any suggestions.

43 days till she's 1.

Random stuff

This afternoon it hit me....Next month, I'm going to have a 1 year old!!!  Holy heck, how is that possible?  Yes, yes, I know that she is only 10 months old, so technically she has 2 more months, but seriously at the end of July she will be 1.  I don't understand how time goes so stinkin FAST! 

This past week she has learned to clap, and now she doesn't stop.  No matter what she is doing she thinks she needs to stop in the middle and clap.  This includes playing, eating, diaper changes, getting dressed, taking a bath, etc.  We have to stop and clap for her. 

She finally has her second bottom tooth in.  Thank goodness, it poked through a couple of days ago.  Hmm, she has 2 teeth and I still have yet to learn what her teething symptoms are.  Yikes.

She has also learned how to 'dance' at some point.  She will stand (or kneel) at something and if music comes on, whether its from a toy or on the TV she will start to bounce.  Its so stinkin cute!  I can't hardly stand it.  of course when I try to get her to do it on video, she becomes more interested in the camera than dancing.  Oh well, one day I will.

She is starting to creep around the furniture.  She will also walk holding anyone elses hands but my own.  If she knows that its me holding her hand, she immediately lifts her legs in the air and hangs.  Apparently Mommies aren't supposed to help you walk.  I didn't know that ;)  But she is pretty good at walking too.  Its just a matter of time I'm sure.  I'm sure I will get in shape pretty quickly at that point because if its any indication of her crawling EVERYWHERE, she will take off running and never stop.

Overall, Its been hard.  It still is hard.  I know its going to continue to be hard.  I have recently come to the realization that I believe that I have PPD.  I denied it for so long because whenever I would go back to see my doctor and tell him about it and try to get him to help me, he just kinda blew me off and told me to take Leigha to her Grandparents house and get a good nights sleep.  I figured that since he's a doctor, he knew what he was talking about more than I did.  I know that's not the case.  But deep down I knew it wasn't a chronic lack of sleep.  I knew that something else was wrong.  I had to try too hard to be happy and it was exhausting, and oh the mood swings.  And I really feel that I have missed out on the first part of Leigha's life because I've been so unhappy.  I know I was there, I have the pics to prove it, but if I didn't there was no way that you could convince me that some of the things happened, I just clear don't remember them....at all....But since Richard's insurance has now taken effect (long story don't get me started) I have made an appointment to go talk to someone.  Hopefully this will all make me feel a lot better.  Hopefully I will be more in control of my life, and hopefully I will get back to normal again.

My Leigha

Dear little Leigha,

One day you will learn exactly how scatterbrained and forgetful your mother is (I started this post over a month ago).  You will realize that I say that I am going to do things and procrastinate until the last minute and then rush to get through them.  But you will grow up that way, so maybe you won't mind....too much.  Hopefully you will think its normal, but I HOPE that you won't take after me in that respect LOL.

(Such a happy girl in the mornings)

I haven't written your letter and update in a couple of months, and this technically isn't one now, but I thought that I would update the blog at least to have a reminder of what you are up to these days?

I took you to the doctor last week because you were super cranky and not acting like yourself.  Turns out you had a double ear infection so you are currently on antibiotics.  Thankfully you have returned to my normal little girl.  You are crawling up a STORM.  There is no where in this house that you don't love to be.  You will even try to run away if you know that you are headed for something that you aren't supposed to have, like the dog's water bowls for instance.  I can't tell you how many times I have had to mop up water off the floor because you want to use the bowls for drums.  At least its just water.

(She just looks so mischievous in this pic)

You are also now 20 pounds and 29 inches long.  You have about tripled your weight and grown 8 inches since you were born.  Holy COW!!!!

You also have your first tooth.  Dr. M says that the other one is right under the surface and should break through any day now, you are just taking your time with growing teeth apparently. (Its down there on the bottom right)

You love to wave and have been doing it for a while now, and you are just now getting the hang of bending your wrist to do it.  I'm gonna miss that whole arm wave, its pretty cute.  You were saying bye bye (ba-ba) for a while when you would do it, but you have stopped, but its OK.  You now have started telling me when you are done with something by saying 'all done' (ah-duh or duh) You say it after eating with a wave and after nursing you tell me you are ah-duh.  You are also pretty good at asking who'/what's that (oo-dat/ uh-dat)  Now of course this may all be in my mind, but I know that's what you are saying.  You're a GENIUS little girl, a GENIUS!  You may make your Dad and I proud and go to Vanderbilt after all...although you need to probably get a scholarship because there is no way we would be able to afford it in 18 years I'm sure.

(Mmmmmm....oranges)

I'm getting pretty sad/happy about planning your first birthday party.  Its going to be a joint party with your Dad, You'll probably get lots of those while you are still little and don't know the difference, You'll just be excited to see more and more people.  We are going to have hamburgers and hot dogs and a mini pool for the kids (it will be end of July here so we need something to cool off)  But other than that I'm not sure what we will do.  We are just going to have family and a few close friends over.  I'm happy because I get to plan a fun party and have people over to the house, which is something that I LOVE doing, but I'm sad because you are growing up.

You are getting to be a pretty odd character lately.  When you wake up from a nap you are pretty pleasant most of the time, and usually 75% of the time when I come in the room you are standing in your crib jumping up and down...OK well its more like bouncing, but its still pretty cute.  I need to try to capture that on video.  Also the other day you were in my office while I was working and you were playing and rolling around and squealing as usual and I look over at you and you are laying face down on the carpet with your nose to the floor and arms and legs spread SQUEALING at the top of your lungs for no reason other than to make noise I guess.  That for sure put a smile on my face and made me laugh super hard.

You are getting so big I can't hardly stand it.  You are definitely a stubborn little girl like your Dad ;)  But you have a sweet side too.  

I love you, I promise I always will.

Mommy.  (Just learn that really fast OK, ;)  I want you to learn those words now LOL)